so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
