I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
