dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
