i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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