P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
