I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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