Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
