end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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