That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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