If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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