come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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