Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think my tv is drunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize