Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
