p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
