Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
