I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
