Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
