dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
