Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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