i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
