omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
