wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
