Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
