just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
