So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
