Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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