Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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