You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
