So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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