if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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