Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
