So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
