So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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