i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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