By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
