Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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