Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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