i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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