i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize