theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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