she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
