what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
