What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
