She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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