apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize