How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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