She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
