they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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