Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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