you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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