My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
