how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the day after is always just damage control
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
