I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize