then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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