that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
