Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
