But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
