I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
