oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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