Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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