Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
