Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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