Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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