So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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