I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
