Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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