i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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