Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
