Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
