It's Friday. Sex?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
