How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
